Dating narcissistic man

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Then, he hooked back up with his affair lover who just split up and she has been depressed all her life and they had an affair 5 years agohe went off with her and met dating narcissistic man. I am reading your post…it horrified me. Before you can move on, the most important thing to understand about narcissists is that underneath their apparent self-confidence is a profound lack of self-esteem. Me: I feel frustrated now. It turns into a vicious cycle and the more you get into a difference, the harder it is to get out of. I almost married a narcissist. For example, day-to-day in the relationship you may feel alone but not quite understand why. And today I despise him.

Narcissists think listening is like being a hockey goalie: They knock away what others say instead of letting the ideas of others enter a shared pool of information. If you say something that's a good idea, don't expect credit from a deeply entrenched. But he's likely to say your idea later as if it was his own. Everything is always all about him. That's why I take up most of the air time in conversations. The difficulty comes when what they want is contrary to what you want. Then, , and not yours. He doesn't live by anyone else's rules. He doesn't want to hear about your issues. Your concerns sound like criticism to me so I'll want to hurt you back. If they don't take your feelings personally, they still are. They are more likely to react with irritation than compassion because the focus is supposed to be on them, not on others. When you argue, it's always your fault. I'm above others and above reproach. Stay clear of blamers or ignore them. Otherwise, they can be very demoralizing. Also, be realistic about their capacity for change. If he's angry, it's also your fault. But beware of getting mad back at a narcissist; they'll respond with fury. They can get mad at you because it's your fault if they are mad , but all hell is likely to break loose if you dare to show even slight irritation toward them. If any of these behaviors sound familiar, here's what you can do: 1. Pay attention to signs of narcissism in yourself. Narcissism is basically habit-patterns, and habits can be changed. Don't panic if someone you know is a narcissist. You may benefit from changes in the habitual ways you react to that person. For instance, if your favorite narcissist is prone to anger, get out of the way. Gracefully exit the situation for a few minutes to let him cool down. Be back in a minute. Don't take it personally. Remember, verbal stones people hurl when they are mad generally don't represent what they feel in normal emotional times. In fact, check out if the criticisms of you are actually quite good. For example, check if they are what psychologists call projections. Do take seriously, though, the threats of abusive people. Having trouble getting your view heard? Become a master at win-win problem-solving. If you take a leadership role in being sure your concerns as well as his become important, you'll be less likely to cave into his way just to keep him calm. Everyone listens better when they are in a good mood. If you can see it and name it, the odds zoom upward that you will be able to figure out how to deal with narcissism effectively. That's important, because many of the most lovable and admirable guys in this world tend toward narcissistic habits.

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